We all have a past: we all have things we're not exactly proud of, and things that we sometimes wish hadn't happened - but those things, no matter what they are, make us no less of a person. I personally believe everything happens for a reason, so nothing I've experienced is essentially 'bad' or 'wrong' because it's got me to where I am today very cliche, I know, but really, if it wasn't meant to happen, it wouldn't of so it's not just a coincidence is it? I still feel bad or ashamed about certain things but I don't wish they hadn't happened because of all the lessons I took from that time of my life so I decided I'd write a love letter to myself. A love letter reminding me of my bravery and my strength so I can read it on days where I'm not feeling as bad-ass and as fantastic as usual in hopes to make me feel better.
Arora,
I know you feel sad at times, for reasons you cannot explain - reasons that do not exist. Sometimes, you feel unworthy of love because of things you have done in the past: even though they're not that bad at all! You have to forgive yourself! You became friendly with bad people, the wrong crowd, but you still stuck to your values, not only that but you voiced them proudly. You may have tried to drown your demons with poison, formerly known as vodka but you lived a life that you know now never to return, stealing nothing but important lessons. You dragged yourself up from some of the darkest days single-handedly. You were the one who decided enough was enough. You didn't want to keep kicking and fighting off creepy men for trying to touch your feet (though you did well making his nose bleed when you kicked him.) You didn't want to live off 35p garlic bread and £1 chocolate cake. You wanted to make a life you're proud of! You're on your way to making a life you're proud of! You took charge of your own destiny and battled your way up out of a deep downward spiral you were lost in. You shouldn't be ashamed of your past! You should feel strong and empowered because you have proven you can deal with whatever shit life throws your way. You overcame a manipulative, extremely controlling 2 year relationship at SEVENTEEN. You gathered the shards of your once complete soul and super glued them back together! Why can't you see how fantastic and brave you are? You've kissed some boys that had girlfriends, you kissed a boy when you had a boyfriend when you were THIRTEEN, so fucking what? Sorry sunshine, but that was 6/7 years ago - you killed that person, the person you once were a long time ago and I know you're strong enough to keep her dead and buried. You think you've been a bad friend in the past, but now you know how to be a good one. You are brave enough to let go and love. You are brave enough to let yourself be loved. You are a kind hearted soul with so much potential and so much magic to grace the world with. It's time for you to fly, to be free. It is time for you to embrace your authentic self unapologetically. THIS is your permission slip, THIS is your 'I forgive you' card, THIS is the start of the rest of your life so embrace it with endless love, forgiveness and compassion.
Lots of tough, yet fair Love,
Arora xxx
Such an inspirational post, defiantly what I needed right now. Thank you for sharing this and showing everyone that it's okay to make mistakes as long as you forgive yourself and move on x
ReplyDeleteThank you Megan, I'm glad you enjoyed it and found it somewhat helpful! xxx
DeleteThank you for this post! I've done things in my past that I'm not proud of and keep me up at night (things that happen years ago!). But it's in the past now and all I can do is carry on and make better decisions. This was truly inspirational! ♥
ReplyDeletemooeyandfriends.blogspot.com
Yeah that's it, it's all in the past so let it go (I know it's easier said than done though lol) Thank you Michelle xxx
DeleteYou have no idea how much I needed this! I'm so glad I found this post. I've been at such low points these past several days and I always just feel like crawling into this hole of self-hate. Not being able to live with myself or just constantly regretting or thinking about how worthless I'm feeling. I know it's negative but I still do it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not fully okay now but I suppose it will take time, but reading this was very inspiring, and certainly helped. Thank you for writing!
I think your blog is absolutely gorgeous and I'm so in love with the stuff you post. I'd love if we can follow each other <3 do let me know. Have a good week!
Joanne | Life in Blue Skies
Thank you so much Joanne! I'm sorry you've been feeling like shit and do hope you're feeling better! I sincerely apologise for my late reply but I'm so glad you enjoy reading my posts and find them useful!
DeleteBig love to you xxx
Thank you lovely! This means a lot xxx
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